yeyeyyy nak tgk pantomime...

Hoyehh.. esok nak tengok pantomime kt Birm.. cite Robin Hood.. so pasni kalau Bob tanya lagik bleh la eksen2 kt dia kata dah tgk.. hihii..

Hah, pasal previous entry tu sorilah ter emo plak.. :p

Mencii btl laa esok sume train kene transit kt Derby, malas gileee laaaa. Pantomime tu dah la kol 1 tghari.. lepas abis tu tak tau nak membuat aktiviti ape ngan zatil kt birm tu.. huhu. Cik tu nak gi Glasgow pagi2 isnin, so xleh nak berpoya2 sgt.. hihii.

p/s : Maeyi, tag tu aku jawab dalam next entry eh.. ehehhehe

such a touching story

It's really a touching story.. quite long but read patiently! (s0b.. sobbb.. )

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This
was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls’ eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife
said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn’t t help doing so. I moved Dew s hands aside and said,

You go select some furniture, O.K.? I've something to do in the company. ?Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.

She didn’t t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? . I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called
answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! .

At that night, we didn’t t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could
hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t t want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this
month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face
the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So
when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words
brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed
her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son.

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There
were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,
etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my
dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not
because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out
a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an
essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made
me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, “Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old”.

I held her tightly and said, “Both you and I didn’t notice that our life was lack of such intimacy”.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door.

I said to her, “Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious”. She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst out crying. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the
greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Christmas dinner

Smalam ada christmas dinner.. best la jugak.. hihii.. tu satu gamba je elok.. lain sume gamba goyang (tp bukan bermakne kite kepale tingtong malam itu okeh) :p Malam tu byk borak2 ngan Surge and Mike (dua2 ada dlm gamba tu).. tp topiknye sgt la bosan.. ada ke cite pasal ekonomi la.. politik la.. aisehh..

Baru lepas chatting ngan kak wani.. cite2 pasal dinner smalam. Ada ke kak wani igt kite ni bob pnye fav student? takde maknenye la kak.. hahaha.. bob ni msti slalu bengang ngan kite kot, tapi sebab dah kite ni student dia.. dia sabar je.. syg bob.. hahaha..

wanie pearl (12/13/2008 11:06:37 AM): tuh bob suke tuh ye
wanie pearl (12/13/2008 11:06:38 AM): huhu
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:06:59 AM): ala.. bob tu mana la ada suka kak
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:07:04 AM): tp dah sy ni student dia
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:07:10 AM): dia terpaksa la suka jugak
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:07:13 AM): hehe
wanie pearl (12/13/2008 11:07:51 AM): takk..
wanie pearl (12/13/2008 11:07:59 AM): zaifa ni fav student dia
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:08:11 AM): hahahaha
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:08:13 AM): akk ni aihhh
kalium_gurl (12/13/2008 11:08:19 AM): apsal akk kata cmtu?
wanie pearl (12/13/2008 11:09:20 AM): tgk aje dah tau laaa zaifa

(jgn gelakkan my ym id okeh.. tu id sejak skolah2 tu.. hihii )

Owh patutlah.. aritu Stella perli Bob.. suruh Bob reserve kan satu desk kat ofis dia tu kasi kite dok satu opis je ngan dia.. hahaha. Adekah agaknye sume org pasan yg Bob tu 'sayang' kite ni? Muahaha.. sgt klaka! Patutlah jugak.. Mike cakap camni "she's a star student, excels in everything so far!" masa kenalkan kite kat post-doc staff yg baru, Amer. Tu takde lain la tu.. mesti Bob yg punye cite.. "Zaifa has done this.. zaifa has done that.. " aiyoooo padahal mende2 tu punyelah sikit, dah la tu banyaknye buat sama2 dgn Bob.. dia ni suke promote kite la. Terasa malu sendirik sbb tak betul langsungg apa yg dia cakap tu. Cmana kalau pasni tak berjaya buat macam2? Haa tak ke malukan diri sendiri dan malukan Bob je tu? Huaaaa...

Igt dlu masa my abstract had been accepted for the Chile conference.. dia pegi bgtau Mike sume.. Mike ni director of the research centre la, so Mike ni forward la email kat orang2 lain.. adoii.. tibe2 esoknye sume ckp Congrats.. haa tu baru abstract tu, lum lagi paper.. hahahaha.. klaka kan.

Habis cite Bob.

Suhu skarang dh makin sejuk.. kite rasa kalau kene tinggal kt luar tu without coat malam2.. pagi tu mesti dah jd arwah kot.. tak pun nyawa2 ikan.. hehe.

Kite been bz writing report.. tp mcm x abis2.. dah type sikit, dok cek emel la chatting la.. aihh. Kan best kalau kite ni sentiasa ada momentum utk study kan? Tak payah la paksa2 diri.. and x payah rasa terpaksa bile kene study... hihii.

Lagi best jugak kalau dalam dunia ni mmg 'study' and 'keje' tu tak wujud.. sume org sentiasa berehat2.. wahh heaven btl.. hahaha.. :p

p/s : zatil, ada macam tepung gomak tak bedak revlon tu?

pagi raya

Dah raya dah.. kite tak mandi lagi ni.. sat lagi nak mandi n bleh la solat sunat raya sorang2..

Skang ni kite tengah bukak takbir raya kt imem.. hihii.. takpe, dah tak sedih dah.. dah masuk 3 hari kite jadi hantu kat umah ni sesorang. Semalam ada kak ros anta ketupat ngan lauk2 dia sket. Terharu betul..

Pasni nak kene siap2 pegi skolah.. arini CGS punye meeting.. so kene la present progress masing2.. apa nk present ntah ni.. bantai je lah.

Slamat hari raya kawan2..

p/s : apa la agaknya mama masak utk raya ni kan.. smalam kite tepon dia xnak kasitau.. takut org nangess la tu.. hahaha..

weekend dan raya yang menyedihkan

Juz got back from school. Sedih.

As everyone knows the EidulAdha is gonna be this Monday. And guess what, I am now at home alone. Kak Riza and Kak Yati have gone to London this afternoon and they will be celebrating the Eid in the Malaysian Hall. Kak Nieza and Azah will be in London as well because their mother is coming. It's not that I don't wanna join them celebrating raya in the malaysian hall but I had a meeting this morning, and there's gonna be another meeting this Monday. And the fact that they left today and only going back here on Monday evening makes a constraint for me.

And the worst part is, the living room is full of mess. It has been 2 days the painters doing the kitchen and bathroom painting. And all the stuff in the kitchen and bathroom are put in the living room temporarily... and since the living room is quite small, they're everywhere! So the term "home sweet home" is not valid during my weekend and that makes me stressed even more.

I am now thinking of going to somewhere.. yupp.. alone! Still thinking where to.. but I have few in mind. Yeah... perhaps a survivor weekend?

P/s 1 : raya puasa aritu takde la sedih pun... sebab semua org ada kt rumah.. tp kali ni walaupun raya haji, bile fikir bangun pagi2 xde org kt rumah rasa macam nak nangis je.. :(

P/s 2: Kalau dah x tau nak pegi mana sangat, marathon je cite apa2 kat cineworld tu..

tiring day

I am so tired. The whole day I've been evaluating undergrad students' presentation, in a crowded hall.. asking nasty questions to them, reading the posters with loadsssss of text.. and then I missed my Maghrib. Good.

And everybody was too lazy (including me) to cook for dinner, and we againnn ordered the take-away. I was hungry but I didn't finish my meal. I wanted, but I couldn't.

And I am so sleepy now, but I cannot sleep. My mind keeps thinking about something. Tibe2 rasa macam nak lempang orang. I better off now.

Have Heart Project

Korang2 yang baik hati.. jom kite menjayakan program untuk adik2 comel ini... klik kat bawah ni and see if korang boleh contribute apa2 okay!

Have A Heart Project


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I hate Monday

Dah pukul 2.19 pagi ni.. kite belum tido.. tp bukannye buat keje. Dari tadi dok dengar lagu la main sudoku la..

Td dinner kitorang order take away je.. malas nak masak harini.. hihii. Pastu sambil2 makan tengok cite I'm Not Single, kak Nieza bawak dvd dpd Mesia.. kite suke jugak cite tu.. comel dan sweet. Cite yang ringan.. tengok santai2 je x payah fikir banyak2. Cite tu pelakon dia Lisa Surihani dengan Farid Kamil. Mmg ler ada adegan2 yg x logic.. (biasalah tu), tp kire okay lah.

Baru je cek email Bob nih haa.. "More fun and games? perhaps we chat tomorrow?"

Aihh ada lagi laaaa dia nak start tuu.. aih Bob.. Bob.. hari2 windu kite la dia nih.. isk..

P/s : Kenapa la bile hari Isnin je kite teruss rasa malas gile haa.. agak2 kalau kite ponteng esok aci tak? :p