Kembalilah kasih

Comel sangat dia nyanyi lagu "Kembalilah Kasih".. hihii..

Dah banyak version dah si comel nih nyanyi.. sesaja aku carik kat youtube. Kemain lagi dia nyanyi siap lentok2... dulu memula dpt video dia masa kt utm, lagu Anuar Zain jugak. Agaknya mak dia ni mmg kipas-susah-mati (die hard fan) Anuar Zain la ni..

Nanti anak aku agak2 pandai nyanyi lagu apa ah?

P/s : Mama kata dulu masa Syahmi dalam perut mama slalu baca Quran kuat2, bagi dia dengar. Kite tanya mama masa aku dalam perut mama baca x? Mama kata tak ingat.. hahaha

What do I feel?

It's 12 pm.. and I have just had a chat with Bob, the quick one. Well.. 30-minute-chat is considered short if it's with Bob.. he's got loads of ideas! So now we do have some plans for the EGU conference in Vienna. Bob said that the main point is to put my name somewhere and to make my potential external examiner recognise me.

He is such a great supervisor. He does everything he could to help me. At some points I really feel bad that I don't give the full swing. I delay my works, I ignore his words sometimes (how bad I am).. :(

And what he said yesterday made me feel even worse..

"You're far different from the others"

"How do I differ? " (I was expecting something bad..)

"You're good, you always put your mind thru.. and that's impressive!"


I feel bad :(... because I'm not that good. At least not as good as he thinks. Hmm.. I don't want to let him down one day. No!

owhh i lap u..

Always lap u.. hihihiiii. Knape lah skarang makin kurus ni.. windu kat Cik Epa eh? :p

Teringat dolu2 time skolah.. kemain fanatic lagi kite. Siap ada scrapt book wa cakap lu... hahaha. Pantang je ada nampak muka zamani sume tok nenek majalah kite beli, bukan sebab nk baca.. nak gunting muka dia je. Hahahah..

Masa dia blakon cite Bara tu siap tgk kt wayang.. beli cd lagi. Pastu asik replay byk2 kali part dia ada je... macam angau ke hape ntah. Kalau nampak dia kt depan mata masa tu harus pengsan kot. Skarang dah besar... tp kalau dpt jd gopren zamani pun okeh jugak eh.. :p

the wonderful yet not so productive day!

Cuaca harini sangat cantik.. ada matahari.. but still cold though, cuma rasanya smalam lagik la teruk kot.

Pukul 8 pagi aku pegi gym... last time pegi pun minggu lepas, dah gap 7 hari.. kalau aritu lemak terbakar pun skang dah develop balik.. haha.

Okay, balik dpd gym tu pukul 10.. aku mandi2 sebab nak tunggu Sainsbury pnye delivery.. kitorang shopping online je sebab malas nak angkat berat2 (lagipun nanti tak cun lah kalau tangan berurat2 angkat beras kan.. haha)

Orang Sainsbury tu datang pukul 12 lbh.. aku susun2 sket barang sume.. then aku konon2 nak pegi skolah. Tp lepas tu rasa mcm pening kepala plak.. daripada pagi tu sbnrnye.. aku rasa sbb smalam masa kat Birm kite overdose coffee kot.. sepanjang hari tu asik minum coffee je.. huaaa.

So sudahnya aku dok umah je harini.. nasib lah Bob takde carik.. dia tgh bz tulis buku.. hihiii..

Haa.. smalam masa kat Birm kite jalan2 kat German market, market yang ada setiap tahun bila nk kismas je.. pastu siap naik merry-go-round lagi tu.. aduiiyaii saba je la.. kalau la org melayu kat situ nampak.. tak ke memalukan dan menjatuhkan saham kite je.. Zatil laaa yang nak naikk (tibe2 menyalahkan zatil... hahahaha!)

Aku tak baper rajin nak amik gamba smalam.. malas nak kuarkan tangan dpd poket sbb masa tu sgt sejuk.. aku amik sikit je.. comel kan kucing tu? hihihiihii..

Birm esok?

Pagi tadi masa siap2 nak pegi skolah.. aku tibe2 terperasan ada something dalam poket jeans.. pstu tengok2 rupenye ada thumb drive.. Aiyooo.. jeans tu jeans yang baru basuh. Maknenye aku dah basuh skali thumb drive tu.. bijak tak?

Patut laaa aku carik2 tak jumpa dah lama dah.. rupanya dalam poket suar. aku siap dah beli yg baru 16gb pnye.. aihh..

Ingatkan yg dah ter'basuh' tu takleh guna la lagi.. tp skalinye cek2 boleh plak.. hihii.. cayalah!

Esok pagi2 nak teman kak Shida sampai airport Birm.. cik tu nak balik sebulan. Bestnyee.. I miss my family so much.. flight dia kol 1, maknenye check in kol 11 lebih la kot. Lepas anta dia tu aku x tau pun nk pegi mana.. lunch dengan Zatil sebelum balik Notts je la kot..


Rasa apa ntah kat dalam hati ni.. hmmm.. mencii! =(

The snowing Notts..

Pagi2 tadi.. pkl 6 lbh Zatil call..

"Kak Efa.. bangun.. bangunn.. Notts snow skang"

"Eh, mana Zatil tau plak ni?" (budak kecik ni ada kat Birm.. sah2 la kite kompius cmana dia leh tau snow kat Notts plak kan)

"Chaq ada kat Notts laaa.. dia yg kasitau saye"

"Owhh.. okeh2 akak pegi tgk.. tengkiu ye"

Nampak macam tebal.. tapi tak pun...


Dgn Kak Shidah.. (Sgt la terasa macam dah gemokksss)

Pastu aku pn dengan pantasnye bangun lompat dpd katil tgk kt tgkap.. aihh gelap ni.. x nampak pape pn.. xpe la pagi nnt je la tgk.. pastu aku pn masuk balik dalam duvet, sambung tido balik dgn harapan bangun karang ada snow lagik.. (silly me).. hahaha

Pastu bile aku bangun.. dah lepas solat Subuh sume tu snow dah abes.. huaaa.. tp aku sempat je snap sket gamba2... tp snow kat Notts ni xde la tebal mcm kat Scotland tu.. hihiii..

rapuan semata

Ok skang dah 1.50 am, lg seploh minit aku nak tido.. hihii

Dah made a deal wif zatil and capik nak tengok pantomime Robin Hood this December... hoyehh2! Dulu ada ajak sorg tu.. tp nampaknye dia cam tanak je (sbb dia buat2 lupa).. hahah.. okeh2 xpe.. kalau nk join bleh lg ni.. :p

Aku dah baper kali pegi kedai nak beli ada satu jacket Bench tu, tp asik2 abess je size. Tgk kat website pun dah abes stok.. iskk.. kuciwa la camni.. :(

Esok kunun2 nk bgn pagi sket la.. hmmm cmana ye nk wat supaya x tido lepas subuh.. sbb lepas je semayang tu kan mata aku cam otomatik jd ngantuk balik.. pstu seakan2 tindakan refleks lompat balik atas katil.. hihii..

Okaylah nak tido dah ni... tata.

Hot N Cold

Skarang layan lagu ni pulak.. lagu Katy Perry.. hihii..

aisehh.. tidak berjaya.

Keputusannye...

Aku tak berjaya menggunakan 2 jam dengan bermanfaat. Sebaliknya, aku buat ni :

- berchatting
- mendengar lagu
- makan jajan
- tengok shinchan kat youtube

dan beberapa lagi aktiviti tidak berfaedah yang tak mendatangkan keuntungan kepada aku . Maka, aku tak dapat la tgk cite KuMilikmu malam ni.. sebagai hukuman utk hari yg dah berlalu dengan sia2.. huhuu..

p/s : Kak Shida (cmana ye nak bezakan dua org kak shida ni), acam, maeyi, magec, zila, mijabolat, bai, kak ct, kak enu, dan geng2 kampung dusun utm yg salu tgk blog ni.. bulat tak muka kite skang?? :p

M A L A S

Aduiiyaiii.. knape la dpd pagi lagi aku tak buat ape2 pun ni.. dah la tak pegi skolah plak tu..
Pagi tadi cek emel Bob, pstu cepat2 tutup.. hihiii..

Dpd smalam aku trase nak makan coklat gile2.. tp malas gile nak pegi kedai. Smalam cmana ntah bleh lupa nak singgah Boots ke Student Union shop ke masa pegi skolah tu.. makanya sampai harini asik terfikirkan coklat je...

Dengan tak semena2 aku baru je tepon kak Shidah, dia kat skul la macam biasa.

"Kak Shida, bleh tlg belikan coklat kat vendor machine tu tak sebelum balik nnt ?"

"Boleh.. nak brape?"

"Tiga.."


Tamak x kite? Hahahh.. sangat teruk!

Skang ni aku nak memaksa diri buat keje. Daripada smalam memang x buat apa2 pun, biasa la aku kalau dah rajin sehari aku kasi reward kat diri sndiri berehat seminggu.. hahaha. Tp kali ni macam x bleh je.. sebab first year report kene anta tak lama lagi.. mati la.

Okeh, start dpd pukul 3.15 aku nak off tenet dan buat keje selama 2 jam. Kalau berjaya aku reward diri sendiri tengok cite KuMilikmu malam ni. Kalau tak berjaya.. errr.. aku tak makan coklat tu (jgn harap kite nak patuh yg ni.. :p )

Nanti aku update pasal kejayaan/kegagalan memaksa diri membuat keje ok! Mmuahh..

don't you see i'm working so damn hard Bob?

It's almost 4 o'clock dah... ngantuk jugak mata aku ni haa..

Kak Yati dah bangun... dia nk gi France, for the research matter.. konon2 td aku stay awake ni sebab sambil2 nak tunggu untuk kejut kak yati la.. takut dia terlepas flight plak pagi karang.. tpnye skang ni tetibe mata ni dah macam x ngantuk plak..


Aku tak cek emel uni dah 3 hari.. skalinye tadi cek2 ada 6 emel Bob.. huaa Bob ni kot ye pun kasi la aku berehat2 time wiken kan.. kijam betul. Disebabkan emel itu ler aku kelam kabut jugak sebenarnye.. ada mende nk kene deliver.. semestinye untuk tujuan menghentam paper org lain lagi.. ahahah.. so noti!


Aku kene settlekan ada some equations.. pstu kitorg (Bob, me and Jerry) nk publish discussion paper lagik.. hahaha.. this is the 2nd time we make people hate us! Yg 1st discussion paper tu dah submit.. cuma belum publish lagi.. i wonder what the response would be..

Last time we attacked the Turkish hydrologists.. and this time another 4 Turkish would be surprised! I surely hate Bob et al (2008) paper if I were them! hahaha.. :p

Maeyi's (Eliya)Tag!

Sebelum jawab tag cik maeyi yg comel itu, kite nak cakap congrats kat budak busuk kat bawah ni. Dia dapat 5A UPSR.. hihihiiii.. my brilliant lil brother! (Btw, his name is Syahmi)

Okay, ni nak jawab tag Cik Maeyi.. haha.. (padahal keje melambak2 lagi tak buat ni.. gatal jugak nak jawab tag.

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any 1 questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by and continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Say thank you (sarcastically)

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
turn back time.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
nobody.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
give some to my parents, go holiday, pegi spa.. facial.. manicure/pedicure sekerap yang mungkin, beli kucing yang paling comel, belanja kawan hari2.. (ni kalau apart from bersedekah dan pegi haji la ye).. hahaha..

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
I don't have a clue... really!

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I want both but it seemed that I always have either one. Whenever I got both, I lose'em.

7. Are you gorgoues?
I AM.. hahaha!~

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
walk away.

9. What do you pray each day for your loved one? I want to change this question to:

9. If one day your boyfriend/girlfriend has an accident, and he/she becomes blind would you still marry him/her?

YES

10. What takes you to love someone?

Nothing. It happens when my heart says something..

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
35-year-old single career woman? No no no.. ! 35-year-old career wife/mother? That's more like it..

12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
I want to sleep! So sleepy and tired, dpd pegi gym pagi2 td sampai la dah balik dpd skul, belum rehat lagi nih.. huaaa..

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Maeyi a.k.a Eliya - my bestfren ever! She knows too much about me.. hahaha...

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
I don't mind makan nasik lauk telur hari2 as long as showered by love.. what a jiwang thought! kahkahkah.. (Zatil nak ketawa guling2 la tu.. ciss!)

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
comb my hair.

16. What’s the character must have in your partner?
Cool (but not cold) .. skali skala kasi jawapan jujur kan.. hahaha

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Istikharah definitely. Tp x penah lagi terchentakan 2 org skaligus, I am such a loyal person, even to my crush! :p

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Yes.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
At the moment I prefer being single.

20. Would you leave your family behind just to chase your dreams?
Yes if just temporarily, but NO if forever.


Mangsa tag seterusnya ialah :

1. Zatil

2. Cik Yaya

3. Encik peraih udang yang baru beli RAV4

4. Kak Siti mama Anis

5. Kak Syam mama Darwisy

Welcome To My Life

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

"Boyfriend ko ke?"

Masa aku post entry yg lepas tu, ada org tetiba tanya kite, "entry poligami tu cite pasal boyfriend ko ke?"

Ahahah.. ada ke.. korang ingat aku takde cite lain ke selain cite bopren ni haa..? :p Aku tetibe cakap pasal tajuk poligami tu pasal kawan aku beria2 kata yg orang pompuan ni mmg x redha dengan ketentuan Tuhan... tu yg aku panas ati tetibe tu. Jadi, entry tu memang TIADA kaitan ngan orang2 sekeliling aku , tu cuma thoughts aku generally. Hihiii..

Hmm.. smalam kat sini ada Nottingham Malaysian Games, mmg tiap2 tahun ada. Semua student2 seluruh UK ni datang ke Notts, ada macam2 games la.. football, badminton, netball, volley ball and even scrabble. Ada Malaysian Food Festival jugak.. macam2 ada jual.. nasik lemak, nasik ayam, sate etc. Smalam aku takde chance nk amik gamba.. sebab org ramai gile.. so aku mmg x amik gamba pun. Aku dok melepak kt Portland ballroom ngan Zatil je.. petang2 tu ngan Syafiq skali. Syafiq ni classmate kite masa kt mrsm dulu. Tetibe terjumpa balik masa open house umah Nabil&Zahran raya aritu.

Malam tu.. memandangkan takde aktiviti, kitorang pegi tgk cite Bond.. Quantum of Solace. Ok la.. best jugak.. tp part tgh2 tu ada mcm bosan sket.. sbb apa ntah, sbb ada byk scene bercakap2 kot. Hihii.. tp kire okeh la jugak.

Balik dpd tgk cite tu aku dah ngantuk gile.. lepas mandi2 sume tu terus tido sampai pagi. Nyenyak pulak tu.. :p

Pagi2 ni bukak2 emel, ada emel Bob plak.. aisehh.. nak kene anta keje lagi kt dia.. huaaa..

P O L I G A M I

Salam kwn2. aku dah tertido dpd pukul 10 malam td, terbgn pkl 3 lbh.. keje banyak x siap.. hihi...

Pastu aku bukak ym, kebetulan ada plak sorg kawan ni buzz. So chatting la ngan dia kejap. Isunya ialah poligami. Haaa.. korang guys suka la kan? Hahah.. takpe2.. memang tak dilarang pun.

Aku memang tak penah kata yg poligami tu tak baik, apatah lagi nak menentang hukum tu. Lagi satu, tak terlintas pun kat hati ni nak masuk dalam group2 anti-poligami tu.

Cuma sebagai perempuan, untuk bersedih bila suami tu terpaksa dishare ngan orang lain, adalah tak salah jugak kan? Tapi kawan aku tu kata.. kalau bersedih maknanya tak redha. Aihh.. takkan la bersedih pun salah kot. Sedangkan Allah izinkan untuk perempuan kata taknak bila suaminya kata nak kawin lain. Cuma suaminya tak perlulah patuh kalau dia memang nak kawin jugak.

Tapi biasalah kan.. kalau lelaki tu namanya lelaki lah jugak. "Sunnah nabi" tu jadi macam lesen walhal sunnah2 yang lain tak pernah plak diperdulikan. Bila sampai ke sunnah yang satu tu, kemain lagi berlumba2. Tak la semua lelaki kan.. segelintir.

"Kenapa perempuan susah sgt nak terima takdir?"

Bukan tak redha, bukan taknak terima takdir. Cuma kadang2 perempuan ni tak dapat fikir kat mana salah dia, kat mana kurangnya dia... tak sempurna ke layanan dia.. tak cukup cantik ke dia.. biasalah, perempuan kan..

Bila perempuan menangis, maknanya hati dia tu luka. Sakit. So dia menangis lah. Tapi bila menangis, lelaki kata taknak terima ketentuan takdir plak. Kalau tak izinkan kata isteri ingkar. Bila dah izinkan, kata tak ikhlas.

Korang penah baca cite Nurjannah tak? aku suruh la kawan aku tu baca. Cuba korang baca.

Then aku cakap la, Nurjannah tu redha, dan dia terima ketentuan takdir. Bila suami dia nak kawin lain, dia sign je.. tak tanya pun sebab apa. Cuma lelaki tu salahgunakan keredhaan isteri dia.

Pastu kawan aku kata, "Nurjannah tu dari awal tak redha, senyum x ikhlas.. so perkahwinan tu dah xde roh".

Dalam cite tu, Nurjannah siap tolong gosokkan baju pengantin suami dia, salam cium tangan, siap pesan jaga diri baik2 kat suami yang nak pegi kawin lain tu. Hari2 dia x abaikan tggjawab dia. Cuma satu je, dalam cerita tu, lepas suami dia kahwin, senyuman Nurjannah jadi hambar. Dah takde senyuman manja.

Kawan aku kata, "kenapa dah takde senyuman manja pulak kalau redha?"

What does a guy expect from a woman? Dah izinkan kawin tu pun salahnya pada perempuan jugak. Senyuman manja tu korang rasa boleh dibuat2 ke? Dah kalau memang takde rasa nak manja2, takkan nak buat2 plak kan.. nanti kang cakap plak "nampak sangat tak ikhlas".

Lelaki selalu kata... susah nak ubah pandangan perempuan ni. Suka ikut emosi.

Betul. Tak ada satu perempuan pun dalam dunia ni yang redha 100% kalau suami dia kawin lain. Kalau izinkan pun, dalam hati dia mesti terluka. Tapi lelaki ni, dia takkan nampak luka tu, air mata isteri dia tu dah tak berapa ada value. Sebab dalam hati dia dah ada orang lain. Kalaupun isteri pertama tu masih ada, mungkin portionnye kat sudut2 je.

Tapi bila cakap pasal ni, hujah dorang yang paling kuat memang tu lah kan.. sunnah nabi.

Betul.. memang sunnah. Tapi pernahkah Rasulullah menggalakkan? Dan ada ke ayat dalam Al-Quran yang menyuruh/menggalakkan poligami ni?

Jawapannya, TIADA.

Poligami ni sebernarnya ialah satu peng'had'an. Bukannya satu penggalakan. Korang boleh baca sendiri kat sini.

Benarkah Poligami digalakkan dalam Islam?

Again, aku tak menolak hukum. Kite bukan anti-poligami. aku tak menentang konsep poligami. Cuma, aku ada hak untuk bersedih kalau kite yang kene kongsi suami kite dengan orang lain.

Lelaki ni cepat lupa kan.. kalau satu masa tu dia kata dia sayang kita, dia takkan duakan kita, kitalah satu2nya... sesungguhnya kenyataan itu hanyalah benar pada waktu ia dilafazkan sahaja. Lepas2 tu dia akan berubah. Love does fade away, doesn't it?

P/S : Kepada lelaki2 yang nak kawin lebih daripada satu tu, you are allowed to. But don't force us to smile when our (woman) heart is crying.